The Final Countdown.

We are officially one month away from our estimated due date, and less than four weeks to the start of my maternity leave. Things are getting REAL.

When people ask me if I feel ready, I can only answer "yes." Sure, there are still things on the to-do list and we could be farther along in practicing our Bradley exercises... I could use more time to limber up for labor or decorate his room... but I am ready. I feel like I've been ready all along.

There is an empty space in our quiet moments these days, a space I can't help but fill with the imagined breaths and sighs of our newborn baby boy. When he pushes and rolls inside me I can touch him in a way that is so different from even a month ago. There are knees and elbows, hands and feet. His little behind presses hard into my ribs, yet yields politely when I give him a gentle nudge with the flat of my palm. He is a good baby.

I am working on a birth plan - just a sketch really of our vision for that day. We are committed to a peaceful entrance to this world for our son, and our plan is simply for quiet, calm and love to envelope the three of us, like a blanket. We want our voices to be the first he hears. Our warmth, our hearts, our kisses will welcome him home.

I am excited for the labor, for that realization that he's finally coming. I've had a few practice contractions in recent weeks, and I'm grateful for the slow, easy test runs. They don't feel great, but I'd rather have some idea what to expect and prepare for than have no idea at all. I trust that my husband will do everything he can to keep me relaxed and mindful of what is really happening, to not let me get lost in the sensations or panicked by the pain.

We've rearranged the living room, which will be where he's born barring any complications or last minute urges to labor in bed upstairs. Our midwife will have a birthing pool for us in the next couple of weeks, and I'm obsessively seeking out foam mats and pillows to build myself a little labor den on the floor. Who knows what will actually happen, but I have the sense now at least that I will want to labor in the pool but deliver squatting on the floor. Ask me tomorrow and it will probably be the reverse. Ask me in two weeks and I could tell you I want to give birth on the grass outside. (I'm kidding. Or am I?)

As I think about this next month and all of the unknowns (will he come early? will he come late? how will I know that it's starting?), one thought always pushes the many others away... our baby will be here soon. Just like the last month passed in the blink of an eye, this one before us will be over sooner than we think. And then here he will be, in our arms, breathtaking in his beauty. I cannot wait to meet him. To see which parts of both of us have made up this new person, to look into his eyes and find that instant bond of "I know you, I've always known you" that until now has only lived in our hearts. To hold his tiny hand and kiss his soft little belly, to see him in his father's arms... such complete happiness, joy like I've never truly known.

I just can't wait. But I will, and I'll be patient in my understanding that for every day passing we are one day closer to finding our lives forever changed.

Our neighborhood.

It's Father's Day, a beautiful day. We took a walk around the neighborhood and snapped photos of our favorite places; places we intend to take you often, places you too will grow to love. 

 Your Grandpa used to shoot hoops here when he was a kid. 

You can see these courts and the playground behind them from your bedroom window.

We'll have a lot of fun here together. You'll have to ride the merry-go-round with Daddy, though - spinny rides make Mommy sick!

Wee! So excited to see you climbing and sliding and crawling around...

 We took a photo in this spot almost 2 years ago, 

touring the neighborhood just before buying our house. 

A lot has changed since then! 

Our Post Office, not far from our house. 

Across the street is the Free Library, where your Great Aunt works on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. We like to drop in and see her there, and poke around in the cozy stacks of books. 

 One of the many reasons we chose to live here is the rich history of the area. Mommy has family ties here reaching back more than one hundred years, not to mention this village 

is where her own Mommy and Daddy fell in love. 

We live on Burton Street, where the sidewalk ends.

Mommy likes to imagine you climbing up into this tree outside our house, peeking out at her in your denim overalls. 

Across the street is a 17 acre pasture. We sit on our front porch in the white wicker loveseat and watch deer and bunnies and birds wander out of the trees and into the field. At night the pasture glows with fireflies and sings with crickets. It is just one piece of a perfect picture, a scene of true love and real happiness. A whisper of contentment passing through the lush green leaves, brushing our cheeks with sweet kisses. 

"Welcome home..."

Thank you.

So it rained, it poured... but then the clouds parted and the drops dried up and in the end we had a perfect day. So grateful for all of the kind words, strong hugs and generous gifts we were blessed with today. Tommy is coming into this world with a large and loving family, and that's the greatest gift of all.

Rain or shine...

Today's lesson: acceptance. It will rain most of the day, and we will enjoy it from underneath canopy tents in our backyard as we celebrate this new member of our family, arriving soon.

Think of these rain drops as showers of kisses, and the cool temperature a much needed break from the heat and humidity that's been slowing us down. Sun will shine from our hearts and the love we feel already for this new life will keep us warm.

If you are attending today's baby shower, please know:

- Yes, it will still be in our backyard. There are tents!

- Yes, if possible you should still park at the church and walk down to our house. Bring an umbrella! Or, if you are worried about your gift, or your toes, getting wet, you can drive down to our house and try to find a spot. You can also unload gifts and sugary sweet companions who might melt in the rain, and then bring the car to the church. We live on a dead end street, so parking is truly limited!

- No, we are not upset about the weather! If Mother Nature has taught us anything, it's to embrace the unexpected.

Looking forward to a joyous day!

On the Wings of a Mallard (A love story)

There is a place, tucked under tall pines off the shore of Schroon River, that is home to your parents' love. Nine years ago they came here together, and found something neither of them expected. A friendship, a bond that blossomed there in the sun dappled shade. A whisper, a promise of the truest commitment.

Each summer they returned here and hid themselves away in their old yellow Mallard. They laughed and they played, they loved and they lingered. Wrapped in the warmth of sweet sappy breezes, snuggled close on the porch, by the fire, in the bed. Never bored, never restless. Content with the peace they could find only here.

It was this place that marked the start of their journey, as partners... as husband and wife. When your Daddy asked Mommy to finally get married, they went back to the old yellow Mallard to celebrate the engagement, to honor the roots of their love. They cradled each other in their most favorite spot, looking out the small windows up high into the tilting and swaying tall pines.

And so it only made sense that when the time arrived to create you, little one, this was the beginning of that journey, too. To escape from the mess and the chaos of real life, to return to the dream state of summer romance, hands held tight together with tenderness and glee... to capture those glimmers and sparks of true passion. There was no better place they could be.

Despite all of their efforts, you were not conceived here - not in the biological sense, anyway - but in their hearts, you've been here all along. So when they opened that old yellow Mallard once again this season, your parents couldn't help but feel proud and completely elated to have you there with them for the task.

The waters are high from a very rough winter (your Nonna says there hasn't been one like this since the year your Daddy was born), and the porch of their little camp is in need of repair. But as far as your Mommy and Daddy can tell, life couldn't be more perfect. You wiggled and kicked inside Mommy's belly and waved hello to the outside, to the world you'll be a part of real soon.

In the details.

Peeking in through the doorway of your room, 

even before we had paint or bedding... 

just seeing where you'll sleep one day made us happy.

Getting this room ready for you is easily our favorite task on the to-do list. There's the painting, sure, but we plan to refinish the dresser and Daddy's old red rocking chair from when he was a little boy. Not to mention that pink bookcase. We have lots of ideas for storage and decor and we can't wait to go wandering this summer at shops and flea markets and yard sales for all the details that will perfect this special place and make it all your own.

The walls in your room were only primer when we started, but now there are fresh coats of "Vermont Cream" and "Jalapeno Jelly" (you can call them "white" and "green"). 

A dreamy spot, a dream come true... we stand at the side of your crib and imagine you there, peaceful and asleep. The fuzzy hedgehog, the friendly owl... Mommy's "fuzzy wuzzy" bear she's had just about her whole life... so much love here already.

A tiny toy piano from Mommy's grandma, yours now to make music (or noise) with until your little heart's content. 

All of these details are only the beginning.

Peppermint.

Peppermint by author and illustrator Dorothy Grider was hands down my favorite book when I was a little girl. It's the classic tale of the overlooked and unappreciated; a sad, tiny kitten who finally finds love in the arms of a sad, tiny child.

I still have my copy, worn and tattered from years upon years of turning the pages, falling asleep with it in my bed the way most kids would with a teddy bear. There was something about Peppermint that I could relate to...

Misunderstood and lonely, hoping that someday someone might love me in the way I was sure I'd always deserved.

Just like Peppermint, my wish was fulfilled. A boy, not so little anymore, scooped me up in his arms and promised me that I would never feel so alone, so unnoticed again. He took me to a special place and taught me the meaning of true love. That boy was your Daddy.

We are so lucky to have him.