We're at the halfway mark, give or take a week or two depending on gestation and dates and lots of other factors. Still, it feels really great to meet this milestone. From where I stand unfurls a long and winding road, with many new adventures and experiences still to come. At the end we'll greet the beginning of our life as a family of three.
I've been collecting reading material to prepare me for that moment, for the birth of my first child. We made the decision early on to plan an entirely natural childbirth with no intervention, if possible. Soon after, we met with a local midwife who had been recommended to us by our good friends Rachel and Don (proud parents of lovely little Adeline). The experience has been wholly positive and I am so excited to keep learning, keep planning toward this life-altering event.
There are two books in particular that have inspired me to overcome any fear I might have had imagining the pain of labor and childbirth. The first, Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, has been like a bible to me, brimming with some of the most beautiful accounts of natural and home birth experiences I've encountered. This book, in tandem with conversations I've had with friends like Rachel, has proven to me that childbirth can be an exercise of my strength as a woman, a rite of passage to be embraced. In some sense, I welcome the pain and the struggles I will face when I labor. I feel a little crazy when I talk about it, but I am fighting the stigma, the needless shame that can occasionally wash over me until I realize I only want what every woman expecting a child wants. I want to bring our baby into this world with joy, love and peace at the forefront.
The second book was recently loaned to me by our midwife: Birth Reborn by Michel Odent. I was first introduced to Dr. Odent, a French surgeon, in the popular documentary The Business of Being Born. His work in Pithiviers, France transforming a state hospital maternity unit was some of the first to question the evolution of modern obstetrics - things like the use of synthetic oxytocin to speed up labor progression and dilation, epidurals, forceps, fetal monitoring... Even examining the conventional birthing table and dorsal position (flat on your back, feet in stirrups), determining that in an effort to ease the method of delivery for the obstetrician, doctors were making childbirth incredibly difficult for the laboring woman.
So much of Dr. Odent's research and experimentation at Pithiviers makes sense to me, and supports my desire to do exactly what my body was meant to do. I trust my body. I trust my husband. I trust my midwife. I am not afraid. I do not believe intervention will be necessary. I'm not comforted by the proximity of obstetricians (read as: surgeons), or drugs or NICUs. In fact, I'm terrified by them.
Each woman is entitled to give birth in the manner and setting of her choice. We gain little as a society by treating every pregnancy as an illness or high risk near death experience. There are exceptions, always.
My vision of Tommy's birth is filled with sunshine and lush, full leaves whistling warm summer breezes through our living room window. I imagine myself leaning into his Daddy and riding each wave with my eyes open and my mind set. There will be music and laughter. I will drink lemonade and eat cookies if I want to. And after hours (I'm sure) of exhausting each other, my little boy will be here and we will hold him and kiss him and nurse him with tears of passion and sheer joy wetting our faces. His birth will be a moment that stands still in time, forever.
Just 20 more weeks (or so) to go...
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